Love(less)

One of the few things I fully understand about myself is how I view love. I have this very idealistic view on love, and despite that, I avoid it at all costs. (Okay, maybe not all costs; the sporadic lovely moments are truly welcomed).

Unfortunately, what I see as true love is something I find truly boring. It’s nice but I need some unbalance in my (love) life. I want love that is more beast-like than human; a love that feeds upon our passions, our physical beings and our minds. I want to be filled with anger, angst and ardor. I want to feel emotions ooze out of my lover’s pores. I want to make the taboo love we share the norm.

Ultimately, these desires have taught me one thing: I have to love the ugly parts of me first. I need to wear my insecurities with a smile. Although I’ve come a long way, I don’t think I’m ready for such a huge commitment.

I need to escape my life. I need to run away to a foreign country. I need to bask myself in the unknown and find something worthy of knowing. Ah, that’s what I call love, diving into the black abyss and finding light. (via)